Sergey

     My name is Sergey; I was born in St.-Petersburg. There, I grew up and had a family. My parents never had trouble with me. When I turned 22, back in 1999, I tried heroin for the first time. If only I had known where it would bring me! After just about 12 months, I started to realize I was no longer the master of my own life. Dope was already ruling over me. My family, newly born son, job and mood – everything was dependant on if I had a dose. And it went on that way for the long seven years.
      My memories of that period of my life make me feel as if it was the biggest nightmare ever. Going to bed or waking up in the morning, I used to only think about dope. How to come up with money? Where will I get a hit? Where, where, where…? I didn’t care what my family thought about me, nor was I moved by my wife’s tears – my soar body was all what mattered.
     One day I was going for heroin but no one at the moment could babysit my son, so I took him with me. At the time, he had just learned how to walk. In the nearest house lobby I embarked on mixing a saving dose and completely forgot about the child. Only when the potion was already running through my veins did I remember he was supposed to be around. Through the drug haze, I saw him bending over the wide gap between the stair case rails. Holding on to the rails with his tiny baby hands, he was looking down from the 5-story height. Like a light, my consciousness was back right away as I had thought what could have happened.
     I was realizing I was a son, a husband and a farther good for nothing. Drugs had made me that way, but it was drugs as well that helped me forget about that. Having my windows curtained 24/7, I couldn’t go outside as was always waited on and stalked by the police or those who I owed. Only by night, like a thief, would I make it outside through the roof.
     On one of such useless days, I caught my look in the mirror and time seemed to stop for a moment, many questions popped up on my mind. Is it really me? How on earth could I have gotten so shallow? Can it be what I used to dream of? Will this never stop for real? There was not one answer, but I got a fright and desire to live on!
     In 2006 I came to the rehab Center in Asbest as a friend of mine had suggested. No one at home was waiting for me any longer as all the relationships had been destroyed, so I stayed to serve in the Center after the successful completion of my rehab course. Now, I know all the answers to the questions that used to vex and haunt me and I do not fear life any more.